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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29566383">Watch Her World Go Down in Flames</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keztrel_xx/pseuds/Keztrel_xx'>Keztrel_xx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Betrayal, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Corruption, Descent into Madness, Flashbacks, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Niki | Nihachu Needs a Hug, Niki | Nihachu-centric, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sort Of, Therapy, Trauma, Villain Niki | Nihachu, basically a rewrite of her villain arc because i have complaints, she's trying to cope and it isn't going well</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:14:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,739</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29566383</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keztrel_xx/pseuds/Keztrel_xx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Goodbye L'manburg. You were a true friend. You were a home. You were everything that we had. But it was never meant to be."</p><p>-</p><p>Or, my take on the events that led up to Niki burning the L'mantree and becoming a villain.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexis | Quackity &amp; Niki | Nihachu, Cara | CaptainPuffy &amp; Niki | Nihachu, Clay | Dream &amp; Niki | Nihachu, Floris | Fundy &amp; Niki | Nihachu, Jack Manifold &amp; Niki | Nihachu, Niki | Nihachu &amp; Phil Watson, Niki | Nihachu &amp; Ranboo, Niki | Nihachu &amp; Technoblade, Niki | Nihachu &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo, Niki | Nihachu &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Niki | Nihachu &amp; Wilbur Soot, No Romantic Relationship(s), Technoblade &amp; Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot &amp; Jschlatt, Wilbur Soot &amp; Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Watch Her World Go Down in Flames</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My intentions behind writing this fic is to flesh out Niki's character arc because I felt as though it didn't have nearly enough buildup. I'm planning on having several chapters, each with different scenes leading up to her burning down the L'mantree. I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The sound of an explosion ringing in her ears. The ground rumbling beneath her feet. The scent of smoke filling her lungs, suffocating her as she stood in the center of what used to be her home, but was now just a crater in the ground. Debris fell around her, ash covered her from head to toe, but Niki hardly paid any attention to it. Her eyes were trained on one thing only- Wilbur. He stood maybe a hundred meters away; so close, yet so far at the same time. She opened her mouth to try and say something, </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but no words came out. Instead, she stood there, powerless to do anything except watch as a sword was driven through his stomach and the light died in his eyes. A bloodcurdling scream was ripped from her throat and-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki awoke with a start. She immediately sat up in her makeshift bed and glanced around wildly, half expecting Wilbur to materialise in the shadows. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s dead</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she had to remind herself, and brought a hand to her mouth to hold back sobs. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, and she squeezed them shut, trying in vain to block the images of Wilbur’s death out of her mind. But the flashes and screaming were still there, filling her head and clenching her heart and staggering her breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki was suddenly hyper aware of the way her clothes stuck to her sweat-soaked body and the darkness of the room closed around her, causing bile to rise in her throat. She needed to get out. She needed to breathe. She needed to be anywhere other than this stupid, stifling room, where the thought of Wilbur lingered in everything she laid eyes on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking her head, Niki pushed the tattered blankets aside and climbed out of bed. Floorboards creaked from under her, and Niki winced. The last thing she wanted to do was wake anyone else up during one of her episodes. After standing still for several moments without hearing any noises from nearby rooms, Niki decided the coast was clear and slipped outside, careful to shut the door silently behind her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun had just begun to rise over the horizon, its barely visible golden rays staining the sky a swirl of pinks and blues. It was truly a beautiful sight, one that Niki would normally take the time to appreciate if she wasn't on the verge of a breakdown. Instead, she swiftly made her way down the grassy hillside and towards the L’mantree- the only part of L’manburg left untouched after what happened. As she ran, the rocks below dug into her feet, and Niki was faced with the realisation that she hadn't bothered grabbing shoes before leaving the house. However, she couldn't truly bring herself to care about the pain, not when the images of Wilbur kept replaying in her brain, over and over and over until the sight of that sword in his chest was burned forever into her mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Niki finally reached the tree, she let herself crumble to her knees, the dam of tears behind her eyes breaking and spilling down her cheeks. Niki choked, struggling to find her breath. The world around her was blurry and the nausea that had settled in her stomach made Niki feel like blacking out. Every part of her body ached. Hours or minutes could have passed while she sat there, at the roots of what used to be her home, and cried. When it seemed as though she had run out of tears left to cry, Niki leaned against the trunk of the L’mantree and pulled her arms close to her chest, squeezing tight to make herself as small as possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There hadn't been a single day that went by without Niki thinking of Wilbur. Sometimes it was happy memories, like when he showed her L’manburg, a smile of pride adorning his face at the great country he had built. Or all the times he had played her funny songs on his guitar just to see her face light up with laughter. Those had been the times when it seemed like nothing could go wrong; when Niki had been happy, when </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wilbur</span>
  </em>
  <span> had been happy. But after the election, all of that changed. That was where the bad memories came from. Wilbur’s insane laughter, Wilbur’s promises to blow up L’manburg, Wilbur’s glee in the aftermath of the destruction, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wilbur’s unfinished symphony, forever unfinished</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki let out a small scream of anguish, trying to block out Wilbur’s voice in her head. That wasn't the real Wilbur, Niki decided. Something in Wilbur had changed after he lost the election. The Wilbur she met in Pogtopia was not the same one from before. He wasn't her best friend, the man she would trust with her whole life. She refused to believe it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, Niki chose to cherish the good memories of Wilbur. She clung onto them like they were the only thing keeping her afloat in a raging storm. She just wished everyone else in L’manburg would do the same. Tubbo and Quackity only uttered Wilbur’s name in hushed tones when no one else was nearby, Fundy and Philza seemed numb and detached all the time, and Tommy… Well, Niki wasn’t exactly sure how Tommy was coping. She’d barely seen him since the final battle, and when she did, he was being his usual self, if not a little more reckless. Somehow, that only managed to worry her more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki sighed and closed her eyes. As much as she might want to, she knew that she could never take away the pain of losing Wilbur from anyone. It was too deep a cut, even for those who smiled and laughed and continued on like nothing was wrong. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Still</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Niki thought. There had to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> she could do. If not for everyone else, at least for herself, so she didn't spend the rest of her life haunted by past memories. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of a sudden, Niki's eyes fluttered open. A shiver ran down her spine, though not one of fear or anger. Rather, it was a shiver of excitement and the first real sense of happiness Niki had felt in a long time. An idea had begun to form in her head, and the clearer the answer became, the wider Niki's smile grew. She had a plan to fix things, and it couldn't- no, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn't </span>
  </em>
  <span>go wrong. She wouldn't let it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>------------------------------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing outside the door to the temporary presidential office, Niki didn't know why she was so nervous. It was just Tubbo, after all. Sweet, innocent Tubbo who had always made time for her, even under Schlatt’s rule. But as Niki pushed open the heavy wooden door to the room, she was forcibly reminded that despite still being a child, he was also a president. A president with dark bags hanging under his eyes and weariness in his bones as Niki watched him sort through stacks upon stacks of paperwork. When he looked up and spotted her, a grin appeared on his face, though it lacked the pure joy that it did back before the war. Tubbo didn't seem to mind, and he greeted her just as he always did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Niki, hi!” His voice sounded cheerful- </span>
  <em>
    <span>almost too cheerful</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Niki thought- but she didn't address it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tubbo!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What brings you here?” He asked curiously, gesturing to the desk. “Surely not more paperwork?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was meant as a joke, but there was a forced happiness in his tone that made it hard to laugh. They stood in awkward silence for a moment before Niki remembered why she had come in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, I came to ask for your opinion on an idea I had.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo tilted his head to the side curiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I was just thinking about it, and…” Niki sucked in a breath before letting the words tumble out. “I-I know Wilbur wasn't the best person when he was alive. And I know he blew up our home, and lied to us, and did a lot of bad things, but I still- people still cared about him. I don't feel like it wouldn't be right to just forget that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki’s voice wavered near the end of her speech, but if Tubbo noticed, he didn’t react. Instead, he stared at her mutely, his eyes round as saucers and expression hard to read. Niki watched as the cogs turned in his head, formulating a response. She shifted her weight awkwardly in anticipation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> are you proposing?” Tubbo said slowly, choosing each word carefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki’s response was automatic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A funeral.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo’s eyebrows shot up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A funeral?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For a terrorist?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite the innocent manner in which they were uttered, the words made something twist in Niki's chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was more than that,” she said, her voice quiet and vulnerable. “He was a friend, a president, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>leader</span>
  </em>
  <span>. L’manburg wouldn't even be here if not for him.”</span>
</p><p><span>“We also wouldn't be standing in a crater if not for him.”</span><span><br/>
</span> <span>Niki flinched, as if the words stung her, and Tubbo sighed.</span></p><p>
  <span>“Look, I miss Wilbur too,” Tubbo said softly, his eyes full of sympathy. Niki looked up at him in surprise. It was the first time she had heard someone actually, truly talk about Wilbur as someone who was gone, instead of some vague idea. “But I'm trying so hard to keep L’manburg at peace and away from war, and I feel as though a funeral for the guy who literally rigged this nation with TNT would just ruin all of that effort.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Schlatt had a funeral,” Niki argued, and she had to stop herself from shivering at the mention of the former tyrant. “and he was the reason Wilbur went insane in the first place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo’s eyes widened, and a twinge of guilt went through Niki. Out of everyone under Schlatt’s rule, Tubbo had suffered the worst. Of course he wasn't ready to discuss Schlatt in such a casual manner. He might never be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn't organise Schlatt’s funeral. It had no affiliation with L’manburg.” Tubbo’s voice quivered despite his attempts to keep it firm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, yes, of course,” Niki said quickly. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once again, the two were left in uncomfortable silence. The air around Niki thickened with each passing second that she and Tubbo stood there, both unsure of what to do next. There was so much Niki wanted to say, about Wilbur and grief and L’manburg, but her words were stuck to the back of her throat and she felt like she might faint. Instead, she turned to leave the office, already feeling the tears at her failure well up in her eyes against her will, when Tubbo stopped her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Niki, wait!” He called. Niki froze and glanced over her shoulder, taken aback when she saw that Tubbo was grinning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Mr. President?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well… just because L’manburg can't hold a funeral for Wilbur, doesn't mean you can't hold one yourself.” A small smile began to form on Niki’s lips as she realised what Tubbo meant. “I'm sure that if you gathered enough people, you could do something special to honour Wilbur- or at least who he was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's a great idea, Tubbo!” Niki fought the urge to rush forward and wrap him up into a hug. She wasn't sure how well the former soldier would take sudden physical contact. Because that's exactly what Tubbo was, Niki realised: a former soldier. And more importantly, one that Wilbur had hurt with his vengeful actions, but one who was still willing to let Niki hold a funeral for him. She didn't want to do anything to risk breaking the fragile peace they had. Rather, Niki beamed at him, said “thank you!”, and was on her way, already making plans for who to invite first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>------------------------------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quackity was quite easy to find, as he ran right into Niki on her way out, his papers flying everywhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Quackity, hi!” Niki said and bent down to help him pick up the papers. When she handed them back to him, she noticed how tired he looked. Like Tubbo, every part of Quackity’s body sagged and he looked drained of all energy. He barely had any reaction as he took the papers from her and sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Niki didn't move out of his way, Quackity glanced around her shoulder, then back at her, before raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need something?” He asked, and Niki was taken aback by how cold he sounded. The Quackity she knew before the war was loud and boisterous and tried to sell drugs to anyone he could scam. This Quackity carried the burdens of war and had a murderous glint in his eye that made Niki uneasy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, actually!” Niki said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. “I'm holding a funeral for Wilbur, and I wanted you to come.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the blink of an eye, Quackity’s entire demeanor hardened. His eyes grew wide for a split second before narrowing. His fists clenched at his sides and around his papers. His jaw tightened, and he took a step forward, extending his arm to exaggerate his point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wilbur was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>traitor</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he sneered. Niki frowned and stumbled backward as though she had been punched in the gut. Quackity glared at her with hardly any remorse. “Are you forgetting that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- no, of course not!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you not remember everything he did?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then you know that we can't mourn someone like him,” Quackity crossed his arms and turned like he was about to walk away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about Schlatt?” Niki called. She felt awful pulling the Schlatt card twice a day- especially with the people he hurt most- but she had run out of options. If only people would just </span>
  <em>
    <span>listen</span>
  </em>
  <span> to her instead of dismissing all of her ideas, then maybe she wouldn't have to, but nobody seemed to care. They were all too caught up in being angry and violent to think reasonably about anything, and it made Niki want to stand on a hillside alone and scream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quackity looked over his shoulder at Niki as if seeing her for the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Schlatt is different,” he said coolly. “he might’ve been a dictator, but at least he didn't destroy everything. Not like Wilbur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quackity didn't bother to wait for Niki to respond. He pulled his papers closer to his chest and stormed off, leaving Niki standing there, alone. She clenched her jaw, trying hard not to cry. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she told herself. Quackity had always been stubborn; she shouldn't have expected him to agree with her. Besides, it wasn't like he had been particularly close with Wilbur. They ran against each other in the election, for goodness sake! Of course he wouldn't care about a proper burial. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Niki decided, </span>
  <em>
    <span>that must be it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Surely everyone else who wasn't bound by the law or past personal grudges would join her, right? Niki held onto that hope as she sprinted the direction she had seen Fundy and Philza heading earlier that day. To her surprise, she ended up down by the docks, which had been all but abandoned since Tubbo moved into the White House and everyone else left to pursue their own passions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki had forgotten how pretty the sea was, especially now. The water glinted in the sunlight, switching between a million different shades of blues and greens. If you looked close enough, you could see the shimmering fins of fish and the dolphins that chased each other in circles. Niki remembered days spent on the shores, laying flat on the ground like paper, resting her chin against the grains of sand as the shallow waves lapped against her sun soaked skin. Those were the days before the war, when she could run through the waters and laugh with her friends without a care in the world. Now, she was so blinded by the amount of destruction that she forgot to take time and appreciate the beauty of nature. As she made her way down the creaking wood staircase, Niki vowed to revisit this place sometime- maybe even as soon as after the funeral. It was what Wilbur would have wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki walked down the boardwalk slowly, breathing in the salty ocean air and letting her mind wander to happy memories. At the edge of one of the docks, Niki could see the faint orange outline of who she assumed was Fundy. Oddly enough, Phil didn't seem to be nearby, but Niki supposed he had probably taken his leave just before she arrived.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fundy!” Niki called out once she was within earshot. Fundy glanced up at her and wiped his eyes, as if he had been crying, before looking away quickly. His ears were flat against his head, and when Niki sat down beside him, legs dangling close to the water’s surface, he refused to meet her gaze. Out of the corner of her eye, Niki saw a piece of paper clutched tightly in his paw. Upon closer inspection, she realised it was a photograph. But not just any photograph- a photograph of Wilbur and Fundy. The picture was obviously taken during the first revolution, as they both donned their L’manburg uniforms. Wilbur’s arm was thrown around Fundy’s shoulder and they were both laughing real, genuine laughs. Niki couldn't even think of the last time Fundy had smiled, let alone Wilbur. Seeing them so full of joy, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive</span>
  </em>
  <span>, reminded Niki why she was doing this all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Fundy saw that Niki was studying the photo, he tucked it into his jacket pocket, flustered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't miss him,” he said defensively, as if Niki had accused him. Her brow creased. Fundy was Wilbur’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>son</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His own flesh and blood. How could Fundy not miss him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you don’t miss him? Or do you just think the pain would be easier if you didn’t?” She asked softly. Fundy didn't respond, instead picking up a nearby stone and throwing it into the water. Ripples spread outward as it skipped one, two, three times before sinking below the surface. He sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't know,” he said at last. “But it doesn't really matter, because he’s gone, and he didn’t even bother to say goodbye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki let that thought sink in. What Fundy said was true- Wilbur didn’t say goodbye. In fact, when Niki first joined Pogtopia after months of being separated, Wilbur had hardly even said hello. But that didn't matter then, because Wilbur wasn't himself. And it didn't matter now, because dwelling on the past wouldn't fix anything. What mattered was how they moved on from what happened, and Niki knew that denying the person Wilbur was before going crazy would do more harm than good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You meant a lot to him,” Niki began, her gaze transfixed by the shifting shadows in the depths of the sea. “He talked about you all the time, even when we thought you were with Schlatt. He never gave up on you, and was always proud of your accomplishments.” The corners of Niki’s mouth perked upwards as she spoke. “I know in the end he hurt you, but he was your dad. Don't you want to mourn him, even a little bit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fundy was silent for a long moment, his expression hard to read. Finally, he pushed himself up to his feet and threw the rock he was holding into the water with a thunk. Niki recoiled at the water that sprayed all over her legs and clothes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He wasn't my father, he was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>monster</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Fundy spat out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! He </span>
  <em>
    <span>left</span>
  </em>
  <span> me! He fucking left me! He didn't give two shits about me or what I cared about! He only cared about himself. And then Eret offered to adopt me! Eret! The guy who betrayed </span>
  <em>
    <span>everybody </span>
  </em>
  <span>put in more work than my own father! How do you think that makes me feel?” Fundy was screaming now, and Niki stumbled over her words trying to formulate a response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fundy, I don't think-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you know what? Even Eret abandoned me! He didn't bother showing up to the adoption today, so Phil- you know Phil, right? the one who </span>
  <em>
    <span>stabbed Wilbur</span>
  </em>
  <span>?-” Niki shrank backward against the wooden post of the dock, as far away as she could get from the crazed fire in Fundy’s eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He took me in! My father’s own murderer taught me how to fish, which is something Wilbur apparently never bothered to do. Who knows how many important life events I missed out on because he was too busy starting countries and fighting wars to care about his son!” At this point, Fundy was panting like a dog completely out of breath. Niki had never seen him so angry before. The two stared at each other for a tense moment before Fundy pulled the photograph out of his pocket and threw it at Niki’s feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There you go, if it means so much to you,” he growled. “I don't want it anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With trembling hands, Niki picked up the photo, staring at it. Fundy made it halfway down the boardwalk before Niki stopped him, still processing their interaction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did- did you say Phil was with you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fundy froze and turned around, his eyes practically slits.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which way did he go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fundy pointed over the hill, towards New L’manburg.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki nodded in thanks, and sat there waiting until Fundy was just a speck of colour in the distance. Then, she shakily made her way back towards the land and New L’manburg, still in shock from her conversation with Fundy. She knew Fundy had… mixed thoughts on Wilbur, for lack of a better term. Who wouldn't, after all that he’d been through? But the pure, raw, unadulterated hatred she saw burn in his eyes was unexpected. It reminded her of Wilbur in the days before he pushed the button, and that thought didn't quite sit right with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tubbo, Quackity, and now Fundy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. All three had rejected her idea to hold a funeral. Despite that, Niki refused to give up. Instead, she trekked across the land to Philza’s house. To her surprise, she found the door slightly ajar and Phil inside, back to her and packing a bag as if he were about to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Phil?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a flash, she watched Phil hastily shove something inside his bag and spin around, drawing his sword as though he was expecting a fight. Niki stared at it, frozen in horror. She recognised that sword. She recognised the way the diamond glowed faintly in the dimness of Phil’s house, the enchantments carved onto the edge of the blade, the small sparks of fire that ran from the hilt to the sharp point, still covered in blood- </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wilbur’s blood</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Phil made eye contact with Niki, and his whole body relaxed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, it’s just you,” he said, sheathing the sword. Niki shivered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were you expecting someone else?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can never be too careful.” Niki supposed that made sense. She didn't know much about Phil or where he came from, but she did know that he had lived in a lot of hardcore worlds. That kind of constant pressure would put even the strongest warriors on edge. Phil resumed packing his bag with all sorts of food and supplies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you going somewhere?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just out exploring,” Phil said easily. “I need to get a feel for the land, collect some resources, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Before you go, can I talk to you about something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil hummed, signalling for her to continue. She took a deep breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s Will’s father</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she thought to herself</span>
  <em>
    <span>, of course he’ll agree with me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to ask you about Wilbur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A potion slipped from Phil’s hand, the glass shattering on the floor. Niki winced, but Phil didn't move a muscle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wilbur?” He asked, his voice impossibly soft. “What is there left to talk about Wilbur?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Phil spoke, he moved a hand to touch the tip of his wings, which were singed black from the explosion. There was a sort of longing and melancholy in his eyes that made Niki’s heart ache. She couldn't imagine the pain he must be feeling at losing a child. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even though he was the one to kill him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, her mind reminded her,</span>
  <em>
    <span> Wilbur would still be alive if not for Philza. He killed him, he killed him, he-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shut up!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Niki thought and squeezed her eyes shut. See couldn't think about that right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to hold a funeral for him. And since he was your son, I figured you'd want to come-” Niki began, but Phil interrupted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can't talk about this right now,” There was an strange urgency in his tone as Phil stuffed the rest of his supplies into his bag and shoved past her on his way to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, wait!” Niki called out desperately, grabbing Phil’s arm in an attempt to stop him. His body tensed in her grasp. “Please!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Niki, I'm sorry, but I have to go,” He said and wrenched his arm away from her to grab the door handle. Niki threw herself in front of the doorframe, blocking his way, and looked up at him with pleading eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I know that we don't know each other very well, but Wilbur was my best friend, and your son! Doesn't that mean anything to you?” Phil’s eyes narrowed and his wings flared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course it does</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” he hissed, and Niki was suddenly reminded of how dangerous Phil could be. In front of her was not only the father of someone she cared about, but also his killer, and a seasoned warrior who could probably kill her in a million different ways without blinking an eye if he so chose. Shaking, Niki moved aside, fixating her gaze on the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm sorry,” she murmured. “I just miss him.” Phil’s looked at her for a moment, his gaze softening and his wings curling inward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So do I,” he said. “I just- I can’t-” Phil opened and closed his mouth as if to say more, but then thought better of it, and stepped out of the house. “I really need to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki nodded numbly, not bothering to try and stop him as he left L’manburg and disappeared out of sight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki sighed in defeat. So far, her plan had been a complete failure. Tubbo refused to hold a funeral, Quackity and Fundy hated Wilbur, and Philza wouldn't talk to her. The only person left who might be willing to mourn was Tommy, and Niki wasn't even sure where he was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Incoming!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki barely had time to react as Tommy crashed into her from the skies, sending them both tumbling to the ground. She pushed herself up, coughing and brushing dirt off her pants as she did so. Tommy stood across from her, with his signature arrogant smirk and mischievous glint in his eyes like always. Niki crossed her arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that for?” she glared. Tommy just shrugged nonchalantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were in my way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In your way of doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cobblestone!” He moved his hands outward and deepened his voice as he spoke, making it sound like some sort of dramatic reveal. Niki just rolled her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cobblestone?” She deadpanned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! I think this server has a severe lack of cobblestone towers, don’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn't say that exactly-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you! You’re wrong!” Tommy shouted defensively, and Niki had never felt such a strong urge to slam her head into a wall. She should've known that talking to Tommy would get her absolutely nowhere. He was too stubborn and immature and she had absolutely no idea how Wilbur put up with him for so long. But he had, she supposed, and that meant that Tommy deserved closure just as much as she did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, Tommy, I wanted to ask you something,” Niki said, trying to remain calm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm gonna build a huge intimidation tower just over that hill, what do you think?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Tommy</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A big tower for a big man, am I right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>TOMMY</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Niki shouted so loud her throat felt dry. Tommy stopped mid sentence and stared at her with large, unblinking eyes. Niki pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you listening to me now?” she asked. Tommy chuckled nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck do you want?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For you to </span>
  <em>
    <span>listen</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, alright!” Tommy raised his hands in defense. “I'm listening, geez.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Niki exhaled. “Look, Tommy, I know things have been hard lately-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pfft, hard?” Tommy folded his arms and shrugged, but his usually confident smile wobbled. “I don't know what you're talking about. I’ve been fine! I'm the fucking vice president, after all!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But what about Wilbur?” Just like with everyone else Niki had spoken to that day, Tommy’s entire body went rigid. He gaped at her wordlessly for a moment, before pulling his lips tightly into a scowl and scoffing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about Wilbur?” Tommy’s voice was uneven, hitching halfway through his sentence and sounding almost as broken as Niki felt. She and Tommy had never been particularly close- their only link being Wilbur- but Niki knew that they both missed him. If only Tommy would just </span>
  <em>
    <span>admit it</span>
  </em>
  <span>, instead of being so stubborn, maybe, </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span>, they could get somewhere with their grief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy, you have to talk about him sometime,” Niki reached out to try and place her hand on Tommy’s shoulder, but he jerked away, his eyes flashing dangerously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing left to say. He’s dead. Phil killed him. End of story.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy, you and I know better than anyone that it's more complicated than that. Wilbur was our friend, he-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Why can't you just accept that and move on?” Tears welled up in the corner of Niki’s eyes. Out of everyone, she thought at least Tommy would understand. Sure, he’d been through a lot of trauma in the war, but so had she, and she was still willing to try and repair what had been broken. Tommy wouldn't even consider the possibility. He was too busy with his stupid cobblestone towers and stupid pranks and stupid smirks and-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Niki’s back straightened and she narrowed her eyes, putting on a mask of impenetrability. She was aware that her words were biting and a stark contrast to her typical loving and forgiving persona, she was aware that Tommy was surprised by her response, but she no longer possessed the energy to care. “If that's what you think, then fine, go have fun building your cobblestone tower.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't need you anyway</span>
  </em>
  <span>, are the words that go unsaid as Niki turns on her heels and marches away, no particular destination in mind. All she cares about is getting away from the hellhole that she used to call home, but now only brings back memories of pain and destruction. Maybe trying to hold a funeral had been a bad idea. Or maybe the people of L’manburg were too busy taking out their heartache on each other. Either way, Niki couldn't stay in the presence of the town any longer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By a twisted stroke of fate, Niki’s feet took her back to the place where everything had begun: the L’mantree. Just as she had that morning, Niki fell to her knees and choked on a sob. She had almost run out of tears, despite feeling like she could cry herself an ocean. Slowly, she reached into her pants pocket and retrieved the crumpled image of Wilbur and Fundy. She flipped it over to reveal Wilbur’s signature and the date scrawled on the back. It was sloppy and messy and just like Wilbur, but it was perfect. Niki hugged the photograph closer to her chest and let out a scream. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tubbo, Quackity, Fundy, Philza, Tommy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Five people who should’ve been with her, commemorating Wilbur and bonding over what they’d lost, but who were scattered and angry instead. It wasn't fair. Why should they get to continue on and pretend like everything was fine, while she was still stuck in a never ending loop of misery and sorrow? Why didn't she get the closure she so desperately craved? Did she not deserve a happy ending? Was that why Wilbur had done what he did and blown up everything he worked so hard to build? Was he </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki shook the thought away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm being ridiculous,” she murmured to herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Careful not to crinkle it, Niki laid the photograph on a flat dirt spot in between two roots. Then, she scooped up the nearby dirt with her hands and piled it until it was completely buried. There were a few stones close by along the Prime Path, which Niki moved to get and stacked in a small pile atop the dirt. It wasn't much, but it was something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing Niki closed her eyes and cleared her throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Will. I, uh, know we haven't talked in awhile, but I want you to know that I miss you. And, despite everything… I wish you were here with me. Things just aren't the same without you. They’ve rebuilt L’manburg, which I know that you- the </span>
  <em>
    <span>real </span>
  </em>
  <span>you, before exile- would have been proud of. The walls are still gone, but that's okay, because Tubbo’s president now. I really believe that things are going to start getting better; I just wish you had lived to see it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To anyone passing by, Niki probably looked crazy for talking to thin air and a stack of rocks, but Niki needed this. She needed somewhere where she felt safe to confide her thoughts and feel closer to Wilbur. So she kept going. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone else claims they don’t miss you, or they refuse to say your name, but I know that’s just their way of dealing with grief. They’ll come around eventually, and when they do, we’ll all be happy again. I just know it. But for now… I'll visit you, I promise. I won't leave you alone again, not like I did when you were exiled. You don't have to worry about going crazy or buttons or your unfinished symphony, because I'm here now, and I won't let go. I shouldn't have let go…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silent tears stream down Niki’s cheeks and wet the ground below her. She plucks a few wildflowers and lays them in front of the makeshift grave, smiling sadly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodbye, Wilbur.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading :D<br/>Don't forget to kudos and comment!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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